Y’all may be a lot better at this than I am, but throughout my life, I’ve had a bad habit of trying to help people who don’t need—or want—my help as much as I think they do.

When I see something that appears to be an obvious problem, I develop an overwhelming—and often unnecessary—urge to intervene.

I act as if my mission is to save people from the flashing danger sign that they are ignoring or simply can’t see. Clearly, they will never navigate life without my expertise. (If you don’t easily recognize sarcasm, that was it.)

When I spend more time listening instead of “fixing,” I reduce the chances of becoming the guy in the parable who “saved” the butterfly from the uncomfortable struggle of freeing itself from its cocoon.

As the story goes, a man sees a butterfly desperately trying to escape from its cocoon. Desiring to help, he cuts a hole in the cocoon to make the butterfly’s exit easier.

In doing so, he unknowingly robs the butterfly of its ability to ever fly.

Just as the butterfly needs the stress of escaping to force fluid into its wings to fully develop, it is often our struggles that allow us to grow and become the leaders we are meant to be.

So where might you need to grow more from your struggles—or stop intervening in someone else’s?