Nobody enjoys being criticized.

Most people are uncomfortable giving negative feedback, too. (Complaining is easy. Constructive feedback isn’t.)

For years, I behaved as if it were my responsibility to help everyone improve by offering “constructive criticism.” While my intentions were noble, through many painful lessons, I eventually realized that constantly pointing out other people’s shortcomings damages relationships.

While I doled out feedback generously, I received way less than I administered. Very few people volunteer honest feedback to defensive, dismissive, or argumentative leaders.

It’s human nature to react negatively to negative feedback—especially coming from someone we don’t know well or don’t completely trust.

The problem is: If people stop telling you the truth, it doesn’t mean your blind spots just magically disappear; it just means people aren’t comfortable being honest with you.

Leaders who grow the most aren’t the ones who never receive criticism. Growth-minded leaders create environments where people feel comfortable sharing.

Leaders who want to improve don’t seek validation; they seek information that allows them to focus their efforts.

Welcoming constructive criticism doesn’t mean agreeing with every opinion, but it builds trust, values others, and allows leaders to hone their efforts to best serve their teams.

Improving our reactions and strengthening relationships ensures we receive more honest feedback and makes us better leaders.