Perfect Poison

by P.S. Harper

"Perfectionism is a poison pretending to be a vitamin.”

Jon Acuff

September 3, 2025

“Hey, Christopher, what did you get?”

“I got a B+!”

“You told me you were going to try harder. Why didn’t you get an A?”

“Dad, I did try harder. I got the highest grade, and I’m the only tenth grader taking Calculus.”

“The ‘highest grade’ out of your friends isn’t an A. An A is an A, and we talked about you getting an A.”

“My friends? Dad, I’m a tenth grader making higher grades than a class full of seniors. They look at me like I’m the enemy. I wish I was in classes with my friends!”

“If you were in classes with your friends, you wouldn’t be preparing for college.”

“But Dad, didn’t you quit high school?”

“Yes, and I regret it. That’s why you’ve got to work harder.”

“But don’t you always say you love your ‘dream job,’ and didn’t need college?”

“We’re not talking about me.”

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s easy to believe we are encouraging, while coming across as expecting perfectionism.

Do you know when and how to push yourself or others?

Are you pushing when you should be praising?

Sharper Leader:

1. High expectations are great, but expecting perfection is unwinnable.

  • Action step: Create an "expectations journal," and review what provides encouragement over criticism.

2. Who have you expected to be perfect, but wanted them to expect less than perfection from you?

  • Action step: Identify what is fair/unfair and realistic/unrealistic in your expectations.

3. Do you meet the standards you expect from others?

  • Action step: Raise standards for showing grace.

Recommended book: Do Over: Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck by Jon Acuff

Before next week's 1-Minute Sharper: Praise often, push wisely.

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