Pick a Fight

by P.S. Harper

"Many troublemakers will hang themselves, given time and rope. A wise leader lets them do that, rather than go to the additional trouble of fighting with them.”

Richard Brookhiser

October 22, 2025

“Choose your battles wisely.”

“That’s not the hill you wanna die on.”

“Not every fight is worth fighting.”

There’s all kinds of great advice on not quarreling with folks. I had to learn the hard way, but I finally figured out why there are so many sayings about fussin’ and fightin’. It’s because we all do it so doggone much. We can’t seem to help ourselves!  

Some of us can't hold our tongue, while others flap theirs around so carelessly. Some can’t refrain from pointing out the stupidity that others passionately demonstrate. Some believe that letting someone pass when they slighted us is inconceivable.

For over half my life, I acted as if every hill was the one I was supposed to charge up and be willing to die on—sometimes literally. If there wasn’t an argument readily available, I would subconsciously conjure up one. Avoiding turmoil or chaos for lengthy periods just didn’t feel normal to me.

Do you know what? That sure is a mighty stressful way to live.

You may think that’s obvious, but what are you demonstrating in the battles you choose to engage in?

Sharper Leader:

1.      In what battle have you most recently engaged?

o   Action Step: Reflect on whether it made any difference or was worth the aggravation.   

 

2.      When you last won a fight/debate, did you really win?

o   Action Step: The next time you feel the need to “prove” someone wrong or yourself right, just wait for them to do that for you.    

 

3.      How hard is it for you to avoid needless confrontation?

o   Action Step: Unless eternity, safety, or a substantial financial loss is on the line, practice avoiding the fight for a while and see how you feel.

 

Recommended book: George Washington on Leadership by Richard Brookhiser

 

Before next week’s The Sharper Minute: When you encounter someone determined to reveal how ignorant they are, just let them and leave it alone.

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