For most of my childhood—and well into my thirties—I didn’t like how it made me feel when my thoughts, decisions, or intentions were questioned. In fact, I hated it.

I discovered that the closer the relationship, the more discomfort I felt.

I assumed that if someone questioned me, they didn’t trust me or my judgment.

Oddly enough, I had no qualms about questioning others. I questioned everyone about everything. I’ve always had a reputation for asking “good,” “interesting,” and sometimes “overwhelming” questions.

I always took to heart John C. Maxwell’s book, Good Leaders Ask Great Questions, when questioning others—just not when it came to myself.

It was not until I learned to question my own thoughts and beliefs that I finally realized how helpful it can be when others question me.

Questions are good.

Questioning with the goal of learning is much more fruitful than questioning to disprove others.

To grow as a leader, start by trying to disprove your own ideas. When you do, you’ll discover that better questions—and better listening—lead to better results.

If you want to reduce defensiveness when others question you, start by challenging your own thinking.

When questioned, learn to set your pride aside and take advantage of another opportunity to learn.