What Did You Expect

by P.S. Harper

“Expectations are only valid when they have been mutually agreed upon.”

Peter Scazzero

November 12, 2025

Donny threw his bag on the couch. “I’m sick and tired of you doing that!”


“What?” Leonetta asked.

“I’ve told you over and over—it’s a bad idea to let the dogs out before I get home. You can’t keep them from getting filthy because you can’t control them.”

Leonetta defended herself. “I know what you’ve said. I also know what I’ve said. I have to let them out before you get home, or they’ll use the bathroom in the house. You can’t have it both ways. Either I let them out, or you come home earlier.”

~~~~~~~~~~

How often are you frustrated with someone because they just won’t see it your way? You tell them until you are blue in the face, but they refuse to listen.

Do you believe it’s possible they could be feeling the same way about you?

As leaders, it’s not just a matter of getting people to see things our way; we must see things each other’s way. Expectations may remain unclear until we reach mutually agreed-upon solutions. When trying to establish expectations, try asking what the other person thinks. Expectations should be clear and collaborative, not controlling.  

Sharper Leader:

1.      Do you allow yourself to get frustrated when people fail to meet your expectations?

o   Action Step: While ensuring your expectations are clear, determine if the other person agrees with them.   

 

2.      When has someone recently been frustrated with you over your failure to meet their expectation?

o   Action Step: Ask yourself if you agreed with the expectation. Now, think of how you could have gotten on the same page before the frustrating experience.  

 

3.      Do you expect to always be able to get on the same page with someone’s expectations?

o   Action Step: Understand that you won’t always agree with someone’s expectations. When that happens this week, see where you can compromise to ensure success.    

 

Recommended book: Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: It’s Impossible to be Spiritually Mature While Remaining Emotionally Immature by Peter Scazzero  

 

Before next week’s The Sharper Minute: Whether expressing or receiving expectations, work to find common ground for agreement.

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Lead. Learn. Grow.